8

Let go or be dragged. - Zen proverb

Good morning, beloveds, 

We are about to embark on another week. Given what I (and others) experienced last week (and the coming weeks), I thought I’d share some thoughts about emotions and thoughts overwhelming us.

Many of you have heard me respond to the question of how I’m doing with: “Riding the waves.” For those of us who grew up spending time in the ocean, riding the waves is an art form. Knowing which ones to ride, which to go under, what to do if you get dragged down. The most essential part is staying loose, staying present. As soon as we get rigid or flail, we are done. 

And so it is with life.

Riding the waves: it's a reminder to myself that no wave (or feeling or period of time) lasts forever and to stay present through whatever is happening and respond to the moment rather than react or freak out. 

Our brains are incredibly complex machines that make so much possible and also seriously f*** things up. Our thinking brain can draw us into the more intense waves of emotions. We have all perceived something and then created a story around it that has swept us away. Though it gets us in, our thinking brain can rarely get us out of the thrashing waves of emotions. Rarely, if ever, has someone telling us or us telling ourselves to "Calm down" actually calmed us down. 

That wisdom lies in our bodies. Focusing on our breath is often simple and helpful. Noticing the world around you (sights, smells, sounds, tactile sensations). Hearing the voice or feeling the touch of a caring person. Getting out of the physical space you're in and moving around. Getting into nature.

All of these can lessen the waves. Through practice, I am more frequently able to let go of my desire to control an emotion and ride its waves rather than get dragged down. But not all the time.

I shared the overwhelm I was feeling Friday and that continued into Saturday morning. I got up and forced myself to do the things that work for me, all (or almost all of them) of the things since I was in rough shape. Saturday, that was qi gong, meditation, a walk to Ray’s (one of my favorite restaurants/community places ever) for some coffee and oatmeal - where that sign in the photo was, the farmers’ market, cooking, spending time with people I care about. All of it helpful.

The feeling I had when I sat at the counter at Ray’s and saw that sign was palpable - my whole body loosened, I smiled. (Of course, I often smile when I'm at Ray's. They are wonderful.) At first I looked around to see if Valentine's decorations were up. Nope. Just a small reminder to those of us who needed it. (Or at least I took it that way.) Because, yes, as horrifying as everything is, we are surrounded by love.

I had forgotten. It is not present in our government (to the extent that it ever has been), but it is in communities’ responses to the outrages, in schools' responses to the announcement that ICE can come into schools. (Friday we got an email from our schools explaining how they plan to respond and what training they have to protect our children.) It is in how we are looking for ways to respond; it is in how we support each other.

We do not want to get rid of our emotions. Our emotions are not enemies, they are guides. It is ok to be feeling afraid/terrified, angry/enraged, sad/grief-stricken. These are totally appropriate responses to the horror that is happening around us. These emotions are not simply sensations to be managed or repressed but sources of wisdom and strength that can support us to move in service of justice and love.

As long as we ride them. To do that, we need to be able to stay loose and stay present. 

A few things before I go: 

Here’s a meditation practice that has helped me get through hard times: Guided Meditation: Light RAIN in Difficult Times, with Tara Brach

And some resources for if confronted with ICE.

https://www.immigrantdefenseproject.org/know-your-rights-with-ice/

If you need ideas or have ideas how we can respond or just feel like chatting, let me know

We are surrounded by love. We just need to look.

Beannacht: A Blessing for the New Year, John O’Donohue

On the day
when the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the gray window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colors,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the curach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

[originally written 1.27.2025]