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“We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.” –Archilochus
That's my attempt at a picture of the Wolf Moon...and Mars. But you can't see Mars because there was a lunar occulation last night - where it looks like Mars disappears behind the moon.
How do I know this, you ask? I was talking to family in Ohio (because as we all hopefully have the fortune to experience not all family is by blood or marriage), and he was sharing how incredible Mars looked next to the moon. I am standing staring at the moon, looking at articles, using different apps - Where the f*** is Mars? How can I not see this? It's bright frickin red! How can people in Ohio see this plain as day and I cannot. Hence, my education in lunar occultation. How can we be looking at the same thing and see something completely different? Often, it's because we are not looking at the same thing.
It also made me think of what happened yesterday in Montclair. Our schools were closed because of a security threat. (We're OK.) I understand, given the world we live in, that choices about how to handle threats are complicated. We are in a time where we have to take things seriously, and we are in a time where we have to move with compassion and humanity.
The initial notice to families provided no details, just that a threat had been made. The lack of details is understandable. None of our kids or staff were in danger. When we got the "all-clear," we were told "the threat we were addressing has been neutralized." "Neutralized." My first thought was what possible threat could warrant such militaristic and dehumanizing language. Turns out not the one we experienced.
A teacher, who has won teaching awards and had recently been placed on administrative leave because of erratic behavior and then made a threat on social media against a principal. He was arrested at a home in Philadelphia. He was African-American. When he was arrested, he was in a "manic state," according to one article, and is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation. The Montclair Police were involved, as were the Essex County Prosecutor's Office and the FBI. He has been charged with making terroristic threats and there may be more.
I am thankful that nobody was physically harmed. I appreciate that our district takes threats seriously. I appreciate the transparency. I am desperately grateful that the teacher was not harmed or killed when taken into custody.
But mostly, I am heartbroken for this man and his family. For any of us who have struggled with mental health crises or who love/have loved people who have, we know that our system is just devastatingly broken and that there are few humane resources to call on in moments of crisis. And, if we do have to make that call, we recognize the reality that our person may be harmed, perhaps even killed, especially if our person is African-American, Latino, Native American, male. Because as a society we have limited training and we do not value people who struggle with mental health issues.
“We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.” –Archilochus
We need to train in how to respond in moments of discomfort, to conflict, and to threats. Our default, our current training, on how to deal with conflict or stress is to ignore it or eradicate, "neutralize" it. These options are rarely the ones we should take, even in these times, when there is increasing and ever present danger. My hope (and guess) is that the leaders in my community struggled with how to respond and between the two choices they thought they had they picked the one they thought would protect people. But there are more options, we have to learn what they are and train in them.
Even if we know or believe that, we often don't know what to do or we feel alone. If you're interested in how to respond differently, let me know. I have a couple of easy resources and I'm thinking of starting something. A small group online to practice. A bit of training, talking, and practicing. Because as much as we may want to be different, we won't without practice and without each other.
And if you have ideas about how I can address this issue in my community let me know. I have some but am interested in hearing more. The danger about these emails is that I call myself out. Sure, eliz, thanks for your thoughts - what are you going to do about it?
I love you all,
e
And here's a poem (thanks, Fran)
Dead Stars, Ada Limon (If you want to hear the poet read the poem: https://onbeing.org/poetry/dead-stars/)
Out here, there’s a bowing even the trees are doing.
Winter’s icy hand at the back of all of us.
Black bark, slick yellow leaves, a kind of stillness that feels
so mute it’s almost in another year.I am a hearth of spiders these days: a nest of trying.
We point out the stars that make Orion as we take out
the trash, the rolling containers a song of suburban thunder.
It’s almost romantic as we adjust the waxy blue
recycling bin until you say, Man, we should really learn
some new constellations.
And it’s true. We keep forgetting about Antlia, Centaurus,
Draco, Lacerta, Hydra, Lira, Lynx.
But mostly we’re forgetting we're dead stars too, my mouth is full
of dust, and I wish to reclaim the rising—
to lean in the spotlight of streetlight with you, toward
what’s larger within us, toward how we were born.
Look, we are not unspectacular things.
We’ve come this far, survived this much. What
would happen if we decided to survive more? To love harder?
What if we stood up with our synapses and flesh and said, No.
No, to the rising tides.
Stood for the many mute mouths of the sea, of the land?
What would happen if we used our bodies to bargain
for the safety of others, for earth,
if we declared a clean night, if we stopped being terrified,
if we launched our demands into the sky, made ourselves so big
people could point to us with the arrows they make in their minds,
rolling their trash bins out, after all of this is over?
[originally written 1.14.2025]
